Five Guys Burgers and More Burgers

Trends come and go, but our love of burgers will never fade. We–Americans, my friends, me–are simply obsessed with them. And why not? Whether it’s a simple homemade version, one from a divey diner, or some glammed-up gourmet patty, a burger is truly the perfect food. And we can’t shut up about it.

Friend and fellow food writer Elina Shatkin took on the dubious task of eating 30 burgers (31, actually) in 30 days, a daring feat few could handle, for Squid Ink. She tasted burgers of every ilk, from Compton to Calbi to Lazy Ox, and somehow didn’t have a heart attack. A Hamburger Today, the burger-focused blog from Serious Eats, recently documented every single “public, secret and super-duper secret” item from the In-N-Out menu (caution: don’t read while hungry).

Every magazine, cityguide and blog has some kind of annual best burger list—Alan Richman recently picked Umami Burger as Burger of the Year in GQ, LAist recently weighed in with its Top 10 for LA, and Citysearch still offers its warped voting system to find the city’s favorite. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years in online media, the word “burger” will always get a click.

So, yes, I love burgers–cooking them, eating them, good and bad. And of course I love to talk about them, as I will be on KCRW’s “Good Food” with Evan Kleiman this weekend.

I certainly haven’t explored the landscape quite like Elina, but I do have a few personal favorites. I find myself time and again grabbing a burger at The Bowery in Hollywood, partly because I love going there, but also because it’s simply a good burger. I’ve had my way at The Counter, getting overwhelmed by topping choices and creating some unwieldy, hard-to-eat beast. I was floored by how good the burger is at Westside Tavern a few months ago, and I liked the one I tried (the prime Steakhouse burger) at BLT’s new Go Burger. I do like the Father’s Office burger and most of the copycats; Comme Ca’s is a thing of beauty; Umami is fantastic; and In-N-Out brought me back to fast food. I even like the veggie burger at Houston’s, of all places. Go figure.

And while I appreciate all of the creativity out there right now–almost every chef offers some sort of burger with tons of flavors, toppings and different meats–I’m usually drawn to the simplest version: a juicy patty, preferably beef but maybe turkey or pork, medium rare if the former; a good, not overwhelming condiment; cheese; some tomato and/or lettuce; pickles and a good slice of bacon are always nice.

“Good Food” producer, Harriet Ells, and I discussed a burger roundup months ago, and one place she really wanted me to try was Five Guys, the East Coast fast food joint that’s taking California by storm. But the only problem: The closest location is in Cerritos. Cerritos! It was easier for me to try Five Guys in Ohio over the holidays than to drive down there.

But one afternoon, when the Google traffic map was all green on my route, I saw a small window to go grab a burger and see what the fuss is about.

From what I’m told, Five Guys is the In-N-Out for East Coasters. Launched in Virginia in 1986, the place has a following for its never-frozen beef patties, Boardwalk-style fries, and, I think, maybe, just a little, the short-hand orders yelled out by staff…it adds a little something.

There were only two Five Guys locations in Southern California–both Cerritos and Carson opened in 2008–up until the fall of last year. In just a few months, 13 have opened from Valencia to San Diego, with 20 more in the pipeline for 2011. And there are currently 23 in the state. It is most definitely here.

So at the Cerritos location, which is in a mall as most are (there are few free-standing Five Guys), having no idea what to order, I got what I believed to be the standard: A cheeseburger “all the way,” meaning topped with mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup and mustard. Boy was that a mistake.

Not because it wasn’t delicious–it was–but a standard Five Guys burger is automatically a two-patty beast; much bigger than a Double Double. I could barely make a dent in it (please note this, Trainer Patrick). The griddled patty was probably smooshed down a little while cooking, so the edges are little crispy. Melted American cheese oozes between the two patties. The sesame-seed bun stays intact so it isn’t too, too messy. These are all hallmarks of a good burger. (Just order the “little” burger if you want to actually finish it.)

The fries are hand-cut, perfectly golden, and call for a few good sloshes of malt vinegar, which is thoughtfully provided on the condiment table. Again, the portion was huge; it pained me to throw away most of them.

Overall, I like Five Guys. Would I normally drive 30 minutes for a good burger? No. A great burger, yes. And I would never go out of my way for a fast food burger. Will it ever replace In-N-Out for me? Absolutely not. But I will definitely keep Five Guys in the burger roster, especially with one opening much closer–there’s one slated to open in the Fox Hills Westfield Mall in Culver City in early April, according to a rep.